I May Not Even Know You Yet

I heard a new song this week call “Prayed For You.”  It was so simple and beautiful. It told a story about someone that prayed for their forever partner, spouse, long before they showed up. Before they even knew one another. It shook me.

I couldn’t decide why it shook me so hard. Then, I remembered back to a moment of my younger days. It was the mom of one of my childhood friends. She was my pastor’s wife, but I also considered her to be one of my “pseudo mamas” that I had growing up. I had several.  When her daughter got married she said, possibly at a shower or maybe at the wedding, that she had been praying for her daughter’s husband for many years. I was so taken back by the idea. I had never thought of that before. So, from that moment forward I regularly prayed for my husband even though I didn’t know yet who he would be. And then, once I had children of my own, I prayed for my children’s future partners. I have prayed many prayers in different ways, both for me, and my husband who turned out to be someone I had known all along, and also for my children. Today that song rocked me and reminded me to keep praying for those people I may or may not already know, those that will someday be my daughter’s Someday, and my Someday too. I hope we all get along. I hope we get along better than just getting along. I hope we can also give them a space to be truly loved, a safe space to not be okay, to scared or angry. I hope that we can live and laugh together. I hope we can listen and find our own stride, with respect to each other’s lives and truly enjoy our life as a family together. I pray that my daughters know real, deep love, and offer that in return. I pray their life’s partner is their best friend and biggest fan. I pray they thrive, mostly, and then face adversity with courage and gentleness.  I pray they love each other the way Jeff and I do, or even better. I am so thankful for this miracle of his love.  I hope they know a special kind of love too.

I prayed for my husband, not since I was young, but just before he showed up to be the one that would end up as my Someday. I have to think that made a difference. Jeff is exactly what I would have prayed for if I even knew what to pray. And if you don’t know, we have been through hard, HARD, challenging times. You may not know or see that from the outside, but it is absolutely the truth. Still, we fight for this love, long and hard, and have decided that it is absolutely worth fighting for. I hope that remains. It undoubtedly will take tremendous work. I also hope it is easier from here forward. Cheers to easier from year 20 forward! 20 years? How did we even get here? I pray for 60+ more.

I encourage you to pray over and dream about your future, and your children’s future. I wish I would have written more about those prayers and wishes. I know it would be a miracle realized to see how this has played out. Today I am just hoping to document my prayers for my girls and their future spouses. May they love hard, harder than the rest. May they find peace in the chaos, together. May they seek God and the most loving, honest and gentle parts of their souls to find answers, even when it’s hard…especially when it’s hard. And may they never want to leave on the same day. That day will come, where one of them wants to go. It always does no matter how perfect that love is. May that day never come on the same day and may our children, all of our girls and the children we will someday call our own as well, stay a little longer and fight a little harder until….until it all plays out just as it should. I can’t say staying married forever is always right. But I know that earning your way “out” is way more important than earning your way in. The “in” is the easiest part.

I will pray for you Children. All of you that are and are to come. I am praying for you.

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