Agree To Be Kind

You see, I have a few friends. Some of them are left and some of them are right, all of them lovely and valid. When we get together sometimes we talk about our beliefs and politics, and often we get into how <Insert 10 eye roll emojis> our spouses are. And our kids, don’t even get us started. Gosh, we love them, and do ALL THE THINGS for them. Our dear children are the ones we discuss the most. Parenting is HARD, at every single stage.

Here is what we never get into: hate for each other because we see an issue through a different filter. In fact, I do not have a neighbor, a business associate, a friend (BFF or otherwise) that has ever had a conversation involving hatred.

I will tell you about one group of friends I have. Truly,  these girls are the best. We are not the same. We never all show up at the same time. S is always the late one and always brings coffee, smoothies and 100 prompting thoughts into our conversation.  She has thoughts of her own and will think about the ones you present as well.  R is the planner, long before I ever even thought of plans. She KNOWS how to get Shh done. We wouldn’t do much if she didn’t get all of us faced in the same direction. She is a listener and a furious lover of the ones close to her…and always knows what to wear. K is the dreamer, crazy dreams we never dreamed and do not even want to participate in. She’s the encourager of the crazy and also of the differences. She likes to be different and appreciates the differences in everyone. Me? I am the, uhhh, I don’t even know. I am maybe the questioner. Are we on time? Is this safe? What should I wear? Did I say too much? So, I am the lame one. Whatevs. We all have our part. We all show up, and are SO excited to engage. We KNOW we don’t vote the same, but we all respect the same. All of us.

So, who do you love? And are they mostly like you?  Find people that are different than you are, ask them questions about what they believe and why. LISTEN to their answers. Do they look different than you? Good. Do they worry differently than you? Listen. Do they love differently than you? Lean in.

Report back. I bet not even one hateful conversation happens. Contrary to media, we are not as divided as it may seem. We are all wishing for goodness, and happen to be seeing things through a different lens filter. How can you listen better and connect more? We don’t tell a sensationalized story of drama and hate like the news does. Lean into your people, listen to them through their filter. It is HARD to love the people we see on “the other side” but we love “our people” and never even asks the questions about who they voted for or what they believe.  Love more, listen more.

Am I left? Am I right? Yes.  I just do not believe that we are all standing on impassable chasms as our media makes us out to be. And if we are, if you and I are, do we really hate each other? Nope. Never.

I choose no. I want to know you. I want to know more about what is important to you. I assume we can have a GREAT conversation, even in the hard. I trust that it will come out on the other side of our conversation okay. We will still be friends. I might even like you more for telling me your truth. If you think different than me, tell me more. I am listening.

Let’s do this together?